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What Is Sexy?
By JOHN F. KUCZAJ
I couldn't help but laugh and shake my head that the furor that followed the CNN / Paula Zahn "sexy" promo. For those of you who don't know, Paula Zahn has a new morning show on CNN that is intended to be competition to the morning shows on NBC. ABC & CBS. In promoting the show, one CNN spot described the morning news anchor as "Where can you find a morning news anchor who's provocative, supersmart and just a little sexy." Hard news junkies & CNN-bashers jumped all over CNN. Paula Zahn issued a politically correct statement, "when I saw it, I was offended." Since the promo people knew that calling a female journalist "sexy" is not a compliment, they added a strategically placed needle-scratch to underscore the shock news viewers were supposed to get from the adjective. Now word is getting around that the needle scratch was really a zipper sound.
Oh, please.
A zipper sound? What a crock! Promo people may know little about effective news promotion, but they sure as hell are not going add a zipper sound to a promo about a news reader. I almost expected to hear that the zipper sound was followed by a springy "BOING!" sound. Give me a break. You know, no one objected to that first CNN / Zahn promo that had her at a desk talking about her upcoming morning show while a male voice could be heard moaning provocatively in the background until the announcer says "Paula Zahn is coming..." as she squirts lotion into her hand and smiles at the camera.
Okay, I made that one up.
Bill O'Reilly (not one to hold his opinion close to the vest) had the guts to say the truth, "If Paula Zahn doesn't think she's there partially because she's a good-looking babe, then she's in never-never land." The worst kept secret in news is that to be an anchor on television, you'd better be attractive-and that applies to both men & women. Exceptions to the rule are those old white men who've been in the business since before misguided local news directors started hiring beauty pageant winners. On every station in Chicago, you can easily pick out the on-camera meat that got their first job because they looked good. Oddly, many are "health reporters" pretending to know what they are saying while spewing information from video press releases. I'm not ignoring the guys either…the male anchor meat usually can be found on the weekends, in the early morning or doing sports.
Anyway, hypocritical people chiming in with lofty comments that they can neither believe nor support deflate the whole debate and make me sick. If appearance wasn't an issue then why do all anchors slap on make up, have stylists to fix their hair, and wear clothes that make your "Sunday best" look like "Friday casual"? Let's all just accept the fact that you have to be reasonably good looking to be on TV, and mucho good looking to be a newsreader. Again, there are exceptions in the cases of older white men, but almost all the "aesthetically challenged" journalists work in Newspapers, Radio or they are on the Internet producing quality local news criticism web sites!!!
But I digress...if, for example, Michael Wilmington has no idea why he was passed up to be Roger Ebert's film review partner on TV, he should look no farther than the movie "Broadcast News." Wilmington is an "Albert Brooks" living in a "William Hurt" world.
Learn to accept it.
Next issue: A Guidebook For News Babe Appreciation.
Oh, That Explains It!
By JOHN F. KUCZAJ
A Channel 2 viewer wrote in about Tracy Townsend's pregnancy in today's Robert Feder column ( http://www.suntimes.com/output/feder/cst-fin-feder22.html).
I am SOOOO glad that someone said something. I couldn't tell if she was just getting fat, and I didn't want to say the wrong thing.
The viewer nailed it when she mentioned that Channel 2's lead anchors have a tendency to become pregnant and totally disrupt the chemistry of the newscast. I'll say (and I'm not being sarcastic here) that I applaud Townsend for not caring about damaging her career in Chicago and putting family first, considering the events of 9-11. I mean, she isn't yet ingrained in the viewers' minds as a Chicagoan and now she'll be spending a few months off the air on leave. When she returns, any acceptance she gained from the local news viewers will be gone and she'll have to start from the beginning again.
Hey, but what's more important, job or family?
If it doesn't work out, she can always go back to Kansas City.
Changes at the Nine Spot
By JOHN F. KUCZAJ
A fortunate by-product of the new 5:30am news on Channel 9 is that the previously under-utilized Randy Salerno is the new lead anchor (with Roseanne Tellez) for the noon newscast.
Instant upgrade!
I've been a fan of Salerno's sardonic personality and dry wit for a while now, and especially look forward to his fill-in duties on the morning show. If I were a station anywhere that had a morning newscast languishing in last place, I'd back up a Brinks truck to his house and build a show around him. Channel 9 is wise to hold onto him.
Remember when Steve Sanders used to anchor the noon show, SOLO except for Tom Skilling's weather? It now takes 3 people to do what Steve used to do by himself...interesting.
Hey, I just thought of something...a cool idea for a new morning show with two of my favorite Chicago news personalities: "Start your mornings right with Salerno & Serino..."
THAT would rule!
The Talented Channel 2
By VINCE P. *
What happened to Dawn in the mornings on Channel 5?
Channel 2 has a lot of talent, just in the wrong places. Weekday mornings (5-7 & 11) should be Jenniffer Weigel and Michael Ayala. Linda MacLennan should be at 4:30 & 5 with Vince Gerasole. 10pm should be Mary Ann Childers and a fresh face from another station (Mark Suppelsa??) ...just a thought...
BLATANT PROMO!
Check out the Chicago Reader for info about Sketch Fest (http://www.chicagoreader.com/specevent/SKETCH2002.html). If you like good sketch comedy, come out and see our show. If you are interested in publicly ridiculing the CME publisher, check out the January 27th show when my group, "Funny How" performs.
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