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What Are You Really Saying?
By JOHN F. KUCZAJ
It was 10am on the morning of Sunday April 28th. Why was I up so damn early on a Sunday morning? I have no clue. For some reason that eludes me, I just couldn't sleep anymore. I had just crawled out of bed, and in my bleary-eyed state, decided to retrieve the newspaper from my front porch. There are some people who might say that reading the Chicago Sun-Times in a bleary-eyed state is the only way to read the Sun-Times without retching. I don't agree. The only way to read the Sun-Times without retching is to skip past "Ask Rhona", "Planet Paige" and read Mariotti only while sitting in the "throne room" while afflicted with the stomach flu.
But I digress.
Shuffling to the front door, I thought that at 10am more than one of the neighbors in my apartment complex might be outside. As I opened the front door, took one step out and reached down for the paper, two things entered my mind...first, maybe I should have put on some pants...and second, perhaps I should have taken the key in case the door locked behind me. Luckily, the delivery person tossed the paper a mere two feet from the door, so I was able to extend enough to grab the paper and hold the door open in such a way so that the family jewels remained firmly in the Fruit of the Looms. Inside my apartment, another witty front page weather blurb from John Dodge caught my fancy - "GROIN-GRABBINGLY GOOD!" it blared in a delightful homage to Homer J. Simpson. My momentary amusement was cut short by the headline "Shot in their beds," and I turned the page to read the disturbing tale.
The headline across pages 2 & 3 said it all, "4 Israelis slain in W. Bank raid by Arabs." Obviously, by using the broad term "Arabs," we weren't just talking about Palestinians here. "My god," I thought, "had the Moroccans finally entered the fray? Were the mighty armies of Djibouti and Comoros finally massing on the border?"
Fearing global domination by the kingdom of Qatar, I quickly read the accompanying story by Lynn Sweet. Much to my relief, the first sentence of the article explained it all: "...Palestinian gunmen wearing military uniforms infiltrated a hilltop Israeli community..."
Whew! That was a close one. I immediately stopped burning the Bahrain flag, got up from my seat and prepared my delicious Golden Grahams breakfast. "Gee-willikers," I thought, "I realize the Sun-Times is ultra-pro-Israeli, but did that now mean that every Arab on the planet was evil in their eyes? Should ALL Arabs be indicted for the actions of a few (million)?" Surely I must have misread the headline. Surely nothing so stupid would make the Sports Final edition of the Sunday paper! So I checked the headline. No, that's what it said. Total proof the Sun-Times hates Arabs. Oh, well.
Then I double-checked that weather blurb-it actually read "MOODY".
Damn.
I was looking forward to a Groin-Grabbingly Good day.
A few days later, I checked the headline on the Sun-Times web site. It was edited to read: "4 Israelis slain in W. Bank raid". I wonder how many complaints they got.
Letters, I Get letters...
Received the following e-mail on April 24th from CLTV's Bill Moller in response to last issue's question about local coverage of Al Hanna's assault on Everest:
"Bill Moller from CLTV reporting in for duty. Actually I wanted you to know that CLTV did put a mic and camera before Al Hanna last month as he was preparing for his climb. And as for 2 years ago...reporter Ben Bradley did a live report from Al's Loop office as his coworkers cheered him on his valiant ascent and we dutifully reported, as did the other outlets, his failure. I know it's impossible to watch all media all the time and I know CLTV is not on a lot of people's radar but Chicagolanders did have one place to get that important local story."
Bits and Pieces
By JOHN F. KUCZAJ
Of the many reasons why the Examiner has been coming out occasionally, rather than regularly can be found at the bottom of this page. My energies have been focused on my sketch comedy group. Not to fear, in a month or two, I should be cranking these things out more often.
After much thought on the subject, I've decided to change my mind and endorse the practice of using probably undeserving, possibly under-qualified, definitely easy-on-the-eyes anchor people as opposed to promoting reporters who've paid their dues. My thinking here is that while the job of anchor is higher-profile than reporter, top-notch reporters such as Chuck Goudie, Charles Thomas or Phil Rogers becoming anchors would be a colossal waste of talent. So, maybe it's not so bad to have the pretty girls and distinguished looking boys at the anchor desk smiling and reading a teleprompter while the real talent stays out in the field gathering the content of the show. This is not to say that all Chicago anchors are all style & no substance. Just a few of them.
Next issue, I'm going to pick some nits off of Roger Ebert and I'll also be singing high praises about Chicago's newest newsbabe (#2 in my humble opinion).
Chicago Media Examiner e-mail delivery
Send an e-mail message to chicagomuse@hotmail.com from the e-mail address you want the Chicago Media Examiner delivered to with "subscribe" in the subject line. Whenever a new issue of the Chicago Media Examiner comes out, it will be e-mailed to you automatically.
Take a look at the previous issue: Tuesday, April 23
Take a look at the issue before that: Monday, April 15
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