CHASING THE NUMBERS
Saw an interesting story in Monday's Sun-Times (curiously, it wasn't covered by the Tribune) that the TV News shows picked up on. As reported, the story annoyed the hell out of me. Unfortunately, I didn't see anyone elaborate on the story or add any information (this is not to say definitively that no one did, just that I didn't see it).

The story: "New rules put brakes on police chases" was about how Chicago Police auto chases are down in June & July vs. last year--due to a new pursuit policy that essentially lets minor offenders escape.

Quoting an overused cliché attributed to Samuel Clemens: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics." Stories that use statistics really stick out for me, usually when they are incomplete as is the case in this story.

Sun-Times crime reporter Frank Main reports "Chases have dropped from 111 in June and July 2002 to 46 for the same period this year--an almost 59 percent drop." Which is an interesting statistic. However, Frank needed to go deeper and answer this question: "How many offenders are being let go due to the new policy?" Though they claim the drop-off is due to no longer chasing for minor offenses like a broken headlight, I have to wonder how many criminals are being allowed to escape? Are those numbers being kept? Oh, I bet someone is tallying the number of times officers call in requesting permission to chase and are denied.

The TV News shows I saw, apparently using the Sun-Times article as their only source (LAZY!), added absolutely nothing to the story. Nice job, guys!

Sure, some of my curiosity is because I'd like to know what crimes I can commit so I can get off scot-free when I take off in my car. Another part of my curiosity is because if the movie Spider-Man taught us anything, it was that if you don't stop a petty thief, he will eventually murder your uncle. That's not cool.
DID THEY HAVE EXTRA WIDE, REINFORCED SEATS FOR THE PREZ?
Kudos to the Sun-Times for a great story to lead the week. "Only Stroger's pals can go in style" exposed the incompetent, cash-strapped Cook County Forest Preserve giving preferential treatment to County Board President John "The Hutt" Stroger.

Abdon Pallasch's story and Mark Brown's opinion was a great double-barreled shot to the gut of the increasingly arrogant & seemingly dirty Stroger. Of course, once TV newsrooms read the story in Monday's Sun-Times, they reported it--without attribution. Is it credible to omit where the story originated?
DOG GOING-GOING-GONE
I continue to be amused by the story of Demon Dogs being evicted by the CTA. The owner, who used to be the manager of the Los Angeles-based band "Chicago", is doing a pretty good job with his PR battle against the CTA. Every story that I've seen about Demon Dogs having to close down says that the hot dog stand is "A Chicago Institution".

Really?

So let me get this straight--a hot dog stand that opened up in 1986, serves over-priced and terrible tasting hot dogs is a Chicago institution? How did this come to be? The Chicago connection? The DePaul connection? The free electricity they get from the CTA deal that a corrupt friend at the CTA gave them years ago?

Screw that.

Want to talk hot dog stands as institutions? I nominate Yo-Joe's Red Hots on 6401 w. Addison by Narragansett. Yo-Joe's has been in business since 1969 and until the owner died a couple years ago, proudly displayed the Cubs magic number outside by the CTA bus stop. Great Dogs, Great Burgers, Great Beef. Good prices.
MUSINGS
Michael Miner's been in a zone lately, writing some really great stuff. His September 5th column detailing how the Pioneer Press pissed away its credibility is amazing.

I'm thinking that most of the people who call Channel 32's 9pm news phone polls are idiots. I mean, really...if someone asks your opinion, would you then pay 75 cents to give it to them? No, not unless you were an idiot. If you agree with me, dial 1-900-5AGREE. If you don't agree with me, dial 1-900-5NOPE. Each call costs 75 cents, all proceeds go to my tab at Moe's.
LETTERS TO THE CME
No letters this week.
ASK THE CME
No questions this week.
OUT OF THE BOX
Football is back, and that's a good thing-even if the Bears aren't a good thing. I began my Sunday as I begin all my football season Sundays, watching ESPN's Sports Reporters and SportsCenter. Those shows have always been a good lead-in for the day and for the 10am ESPN pre game show. Unfortunately, ESPN has gone and pissed all over my breakfast. They've added someone to their show who annoys the hell out of me. He makes me wish bad things upon him--like wishing for 12 anvils being dropped on his head in succession. He has made ESPN's NFL Countdown utterly unwatchable for me.

I, of course, am talking about Michael Irvin.

Seriously, I can't stand the guy. Perhaps he's a really nice guy in person, but when he opens his mouth on NFL Countdown, I find myself hoping Chris Berman would plunge knitting needles into his eye sockets. Annoying is too mild a word to describe him. I'm mad at ESPN for adding him to the show because I can no longer watch. Oh, and one more thing--couldn't they get someone else to dress Irvin other than Huggy Bear?

Okay, so now I wait for 11am and the Fox NFL Sunday crew. As the number one pre game show, I expect that Fox wouldn't tinker with anything. Dad used to tell me "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". Unfortunately, the folks at Fox Sports must be bastards or their dad never imparted practical wisdom.

Oh, sure:
- I'm expecting the rational JB directing the two dumb jocks and one overrated coach. I'm not disappointed.
- I'm expecting an appearance from Jillian Barberie and her breasts, verifying my sexual orientation. I'm not disappointed. Down boy!
- I'm expecting a comedy segment. I'm not disappointed in Frank Caliendo.

But:
- I didn't expect the show to become the "Ford F-150 Pre Game Show". What the hell is that? Is that a Ford logo bug on the screen? F-You Ford!
- I didn't expect the annoying ticker at the bottom of the screen to become TWO annoying tickers at the bottom third of the screen. This is a FOOTBALL pre game show, not the Stock Market Observer--no one in Carolina can read anyway!
- I didn't expect large, badly formatted graphics cluttering up the screen giving me a headache.

Meanwhile, CBS did their usual solid, clutter-free show. I think Fox added so much clutter to their show that they will see it in the ratings. I know I'm not gonna bother with them.
Well...I might watch until Jillian shows her boobs off, but I will promptly change the channel after that!!!








The Chicago Media Examiner is published by John Kuczaj
All opinions expressed on this site are just that--opinions. They belong to those people who they are attributed to and should not necessarily be considered as fact. Do not confuse the ruminations and opinions posted to this site with hard facts. Anyone who feels that some of these opinions should not be published should make a trip to the library, apply for a card (don't forget 2 forms of I.D.) and check out the US Constitution...specifically the stuff on "freedom of speech."
Copyright © 1999-2003 CupOfCheese Media/John F. Kuczaj, All Rights Reserved